Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize