at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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