She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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