I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Let's get the cat blown out
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
