Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
