i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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