He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize