Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
