I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
