The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
