I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
