wrigley field is MILF paradise
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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