He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
