i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
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I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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