cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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