Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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