I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
