Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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