He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
