would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
