just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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