So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
