i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
