question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
