whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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