I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
