Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
