nut hugger
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
