He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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