I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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