That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
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We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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