I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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