I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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