To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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