Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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