We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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