I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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