Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
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I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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