i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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