mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
