google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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