She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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