I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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