the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
