Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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