i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
