There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.