Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.