What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall