What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.