Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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(812): View more from Indiana

he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.

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(904): View more from Florida

Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend

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(407): View more from Florida

Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.

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(909): View more from California

he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.

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(415): View more from California

My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.

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