They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.