it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
