I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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