Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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