if only i could text you this smell
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
