you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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