Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
