i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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