I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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