i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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