its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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