I CAN MOONWALK!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
